HR Agony

alok imageIf I have to think of it, the biggest challenge to an HR manager’s job is to make sure people come to office. More importantly, come in on time, and not leave early. Also maybe, just maybe make sure they never take leave. Ever.

That’s the ideal workplace for a boss. Because of that intrinsic fetish for commitment & hard work which is not born otherwise, but is wanted especially since you are paying for it. That being said- some hard bound rules (that redefine the way we look at leave) need to find their way into the HR Manual at CKS.

Sick Leave: You can ideally never be sick for us, and if you are, we need a doctor’s statement. But then again, we will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness; If you are able to go to the doctor, you should be able to come to work. Amen. 

Casual Leave: Each employee will receive 104 casual leave days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Paid Leave : All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. All your family weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, breakups, make ups need to fall in this time frame. Pla – be effective.

The holidays are as follows:  December 25 – January 4th ( End of Year Break)

Lunch Break : Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Average sized people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

PS : My next blog post will classify who falls into which size-break allotment. For starters, I fall in Skinny , Aditya falls in Fat.

Late Comings : We love this way of ensuring our bank balance grows. Because 9:31 is late for us and we really have no strong objections to you coming late, so long as you are happy go lucky with those heavy deductions in your salary – Which we are proud of.

Thank you for your loyalty to cks. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations and inputs should be directed elsewhere.

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